Day One

This morning I jumped out of bed and made myself presentable so I could run across town, weigh in and get my prescriptions. I was confident I at least maintained my current weight since last Thursday…boy was I wrong. I gained THREE pounds. Three. Now maybe that’s water weight, or maybe it’s fat. Did I eat well for the last week? Not really. Did I eat as horribly as I could have? Nope. It is still hard to hear and disappointing that just two days ago I weighed myself at 200 even, and today the doctor’s scale reads 204. I’m not sure which scale to believe, or which one to go by for my official results. Perhaps I’ll track both to see if there’s a consistent difference. 

Anyway, starting today I have eaten better. I’ve started on the phentermine and the diuretic, plus I got another b12 injection. I had a big salad for my early dinner and had scrambled eggs for breakfast. For a snack in between I had an apple with peanut butter. So far, not too many carbs in today. I have also been really trying to get my water in for the day. I’m aiming for no less than 64oz, but more is always better.

For the side effects of the drugs I’m taking, the only thing I’ve really noticed is that occasionally it feels like my heart is beating harder. I haven’t experienced the dry mouth like I had before - but maybe it’s because I’m staying hydrated. I didn’t have a huge wave of energy like others’ have mentioned, but I did feel more focused to get tasks taken care of. In that sense, it really reminds me of just taking my Ritalin every day (which I have stopped because I don’t think it would be wise to combine the two). I had a minor head ache in the morning, but I was getting one before I took the medication so I don’t really think they played a part in that. 

Lastly, one big piece of news from yesterday - I’m going to be a student at Old Dominion University come January! I plan on taking some general education courses before I apply to a few master’s programs and their RN-BSN program. So excited!

Time for some studying - I’ll update soon!

XoXo

A lousy day and my "beginning stats"

Hello again!

So today was a lousy day for me. At least the first part of it was. I missed clinical. I was awake and able to go - but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to leave the house. I've been in a funk for the last week and it's really starting to worry me. I have been feeling a little scared that I'm regressing with my depression. If I'm being honest, I haven't been taking my medication as I should be and it is really starting to catch up to me. I've been feeling sort of like an empty shell and I'm really having a hard time getting out of my own head. I got lucky that my therapist was in her office today for an emergency appointment, so she squeezed me in a day early so I wouldn't have to wait to see her until tomorrow. I adore her. She really helps me calm down, remember what's important and what isn't, and reminds me that I won't always feel how I do when I'm in those moments. I guess one of my main frustrations with depression is that I'm scared I will always have to be on these medications. I hate feeling like I have to rely on a daily regimen of medications to ensure me not feeling miserable or empty. I just want to be happy and normal without a pill. But maybe one day I won't have to be on anything. For now, I'll just focus on today and feeling good about life and about myself TODAY. 

So now on to the part where I discuss my weight and my goals!

As of this morning, I am 200 even. When I weighed myself last Thursday (10/1/15),  I was 201 at home, but at the doctor's office the scale read 202. I need to be less than that when I go in this Thursday. I know I really haven't been following the plan he's prescribed but I just can't stop thinking about food! I think my hormones are readjusting to not being on the Lupron shot for my endometriosis. Yuck. Anyway, I can't wait to start the Phentermine this Friday! I have really high hopes that it will help to get my mind off of food and keep me from eating when I'm bored. I think it will be the kickstart I need to get this weight off once and for all. 

Here are my stats:

Height: 5’0”

SW: 202

GW:120 

It is hard for me to say what I want my goal weight to be because when I was younger and thinner, I never paid attention to my weight in numbers. I remember being 140 and being relatively content, but still wanted to lose weight. I think 140 is still considered overweight for my height, so I believe 120 is ideal. We can always reassess when I get there, right?

As for my short term goal, my pinning ceremony is in two and a half months  (12/12/15) and I would like to be 30 pounds lighter by then.

I think that's it for now! I have taken my measurements and photos, but I have decided not to post them to here until I take another set of pictures and measurements for comparison in two weeks. I will post again soon!

XoXo S

New Beginnings

So this is my first post on my new blog! I’m a little nervous and a little excited for this new beginning. I am in my final months of a registered nursing program in Virginia and while I’m eager to start working - I am so scared! This blog will be my outlet for the stress and anxiety, and even the good moments too.

Another reason for starting this blog is because I would like to document my weight loss journey. Over the years, particularly since middle school, I’ve steadily gained weight. I’ve never been “skinny” by any means, but I’ve also never been happy with my size. Three years ago I suffered a terrible loss that left me depressed. Instead of learning a healthy way to cope with the stress and the loss, I turned to food for comfort. I reached my highest weight and knew I needed to make a change. With seemingly minimal effort, I lost 15-20 pounds without even noticing. I’ve maintained that weight for the last three years, with minor fluctuations until now. I’m slowly climbing back to my highest weight and I need to make a change for good.

A few of my coworkers have been seeing a weight loss doctor, so I’ve decided to join the program and see how I do. I am determined to lose this weight once and for all! The changes I plan on making include more home cooked meals, less carbs, less junk, more exercise, and more water. I will use this as a place to track my loss in pounds as well as my BMI and measurements. I will also occasionally post pictures to show differences as I notice them.

Tomorrow I will post my starting weight and measurements, my goals, and MAYBE some of my "before" pictures. I have clinical bright and early so I may be too tired! I'm going to try to hold myself to it though!

Until next time...

XoXo S